Will Somebody Please Answer That *#$&*@ Phone?!

Tinnitus. Even the name is annoying. That's the scientific name for ringing in the ears. We've all experienced it briefly one time or another. A loud boom, a marital spat whose decibel level rises to challenge that of a jackhammer...these things set off that alarm in your head where your ears are telling you, "Hey! Would you knock it off already? We're tryin' to work here!" I've read online that it can be loud enough to drive you totally bonkers Mine isn't that bad, thank G-d. In fact, I only have it in one ear (the right one). As usual, none of the doctors seemed to care or even listen when I mentioned it. I know, I know; they were concentrating on more important things...like keeping me breathing. Still, tinnitus is not fun. When I googled it, I discovered that there's a whole slew (as opposed to half a slew) of antibiotics that can cause it, not the least of which is our old friend Vancomycin. Also Bactrim and Dapsone, both of which I've been on. I asked Dr. Katzenelenbogen about it recently and he said there's no cure for tinnitus. So I went to the Brooklyn College Audiology Department for a (free!) hearing test and evaluation. My hearing is okay for my age, and there's no cure for tinnitus. So I went to Dr. Ana Kim at New York Eye and Ear Infirmary who looked in my ear and told me there's no cure for tinnitus, that'll be $50.00, please. Am I beginning to sense a pattern here? I told Dr. Kim that I'm taking this heeby-jeeby stuff called Lipo-Flavonoid that purportedly helps. Her response? "Couldn't hoit!" Okay, those weren't her exact words; she is Chinese, after all. She said after it becomes clear that the Lipo-Flavonoid isn't doing jack, I should try niacin. When that doesn't work I should try ginko biloba. When that doesn't work I should jump up and down ten times and yell "yippee". Okay, I made that last one up. The good news is that whatever hearing loss I have will not get worse and that the tinnitus will probably clear up on its own eventually. She didn't say how long it would take, so I suppose I'll have to stay alive at least until the ringing goes away, if only to maintain Dr. Kim's reputation. As good a reason as any, I guess.