Hey...How 'bout a Nice Hole in the Neck?

No one asked me if I wanted a hole in my neck. I guess it could come in handy if you have a really nifty pendant and no chain to hang it on. Generally, though, I tend to shy away from having holes bored into pretty much any of my body parts. Protesting the procedure, however, would have been highly impractical as well as unwise. First of all, I was sedated at the time, and second of all, I couldn't breathe. So I came out of the OR with a tracheostomy. They stick this contraption halfway down your throat which holds a glorified tube called a cannula. The cannula is then connected to the oxygen source. It also allows the nurse unfettered access to the lungs when the patient needs mucus suctioned out which he cannot cough up by himself. This procedure is usually quite gag-filled (gag as in to gag, not gag as in practical joke), or at least for me it was (more about my gag reflex later). It's not a good idea to have a trach any longer than absolutely necessary because it provides a wonderful portal for new colonies of bacteria. But the worst part is that you can't talk. That really does put a giant crimp in one's ability to communicate; especially a shy, reticent type like me.