Nisht Ahin, Nisht Aherr

I'll bet you're wondering what the title of this post means, especially if you're not Jewish. I would imagine you're also puzzled about the bizarre looking creature to the left. Allow me to explain: "Nisht ahin, nisht aherr" is a Yiddish expression which roughly translates as "neither here nor there". However, there are synonyms in Yiddish, just as there are in any language. In Yiddish, the word "hin" means chicken. A "herr" is a rabbit. So, as a play on words, "nisht ahin, nisht aherr" can be translated as "not a chicken, not a rabbit". Got it? Good...there's gonna be a quiz later.
When I say "neither here nor there", however, I don't intend it to mean what it usually does when people say "that's neither here nor there". I don't even understand that expression. What I'm trying to convey is what it's like to be sedated and on a ventilator. You're not dead. But you certainly aren't particulalry alive, either. There were times that I was mildly aware of my surroundings. I know now, after the fact, that my kids and my siblings were there with me almost constantly. I know too that Chayie kept repeating, "when he wakes up, I'm gonna kill him" (a threat, incidently, that she is still thinking about making good on). There were times when my eyes would open briefly and someone in the room would try to talk to me. I think I remember Vrumi doing that. I definitely remember my cousin Duvy's face (hi, Duv!) hovering mere inches from mine telling me that although I was very sick, I was going to be okay. I remember my mother stroking my face. Truth be told, looking back all these months later, it all seems quite surreal. There was a huge disparity between my reaction and the reaction of people present when I finally woke up: my daughter Blimie hugged me and cried, cried as I hadn't seen her cry since she was a little girl. I was totally confused; what in the world was she so hysterical about? Of course I wasn't at all aware that Blimie had just spent the better part of a week looking at her father, who, during that period, seemed about as alive as a cabbage. Chayie would explain to me later that Blimie was convinced that I was never waking up. Oh, and my reaction? "Get me my pants, I'm going home!" Yeah, riiiiiiiight.