The Whole Is Equal To...

I have a friend that reads this blog, and she's not related to me.  It's true.  I'll bet all you nieces and sisters and stuff think that you're the only ones out there in cyber-world that are privy to these incredibly erudite, profound words of wisdom.  Well, you're wrong.  There are probably at least five or six hundred other followers that have not officially signed up and consequently can't comment even if they wanted to.  Okay, maybe not five or six hundred.  Maybe just one or two.  People, not hundreds.  But the fact remains that I do have loyal fans out there.  It's the quality of the readership that counts, not the quantity.  I think.   So she emails me and comments that there are very few of my body parts that I have yet to kvetch about somewhere in the blog. And so, dear readers, I shall endeavor to explain to you the state of my toes.  Yes, my friends, my toes.  After all it's been a long time since I really grossed you out; I think it was way back in October ("Snot Easy").  Before we begin, I must say that I never understood why people find toes so icky.  After all, you never see anyone call for the ol' barf bag when they glance at someone's fingers, do you?  And what are toes, after all, but feet fingers.  In fact, that's exactly what they're called in both Hebrew and Yiddish.  I have an erstwhile friend who's a podiatrist.  Boy, does he get a lot of ribbing about his occupation.  It's almost as if he's gonna be the next installment on that cable show, "dirty jobs".  You know, the one where the host goes around and joins folks with truly disgusting jobs, like sewer cleaners and hog sloppers.  You can't make this stuff up.  In 2011, this is considered entertainment, kiddies.  So podiatrists get a bad rap.  Truth be told, I wouldn't want to sit around all day trimming someone else's toenails, either.  But you know what?  I don't really know why.  I think we've all been brainwashed to think that other people's toes are nasty, but ours are just lovely.  Maybe it started with cavemen who didn't wash and got all fungal down there and had several decades worth of toe-jam build-up and this toe revulsion has been hardwired into our DNA.  But, as usual, I digress.  In fact, if I didn't go off on these tangential flights-of-fancy, my posts would all be like twenty words long.  For example, this post is about my hammertoes.  If I didn't digress, it would probably be something like,

"Since I got sick, I've developed a few hammer toes.  I never had them before".

That's only fifteen words.  And not particularly interesting words, either.

Y'know what?  I think that's enough about my hammertoes.  If you want more information, you can google it or comment and I'll respond or email me at AniDaati@aol.com.  Tune in next time when I discuss my halitosis...you won't wanna miss it!