The Letter

Lutino Lovebird

My Seudas Hoda'ah was last night.  I'll post about it next time.  First I have to tell you about the letter.  Some time ago I asked Dr. DePalo (AKA His Majesty) to write me a letter stating that in his professional opinion, it was okay for me to get a bird.  Now, I know that DePalo is a lot of things, but he's not irresponsible.  He would never jeopardize my health; not because he cares so much about me...it's because he cares so much about him.  Me dying would reflect poorly on his medical genius, and he'll have none of that.  Point being, if he didn't think it was okay for me to once again have a little feathered companion, there's no way he would give it his stamp of approval.  Anyway, a few days ago, just in time for last night's shindig, the letter came by snail mail.  I wish I still had it so I could quote it verbatim, but I don't.  You see, I made it a point to bring it last night to show it to my kids.  As you already know if you've been following this blog, they're all dead set against another bird, and have articulated their feelings quite clearly.  Feige and Blimie have said that they won't speak to me.  Frankly, I don't think Kalman is quite as adamant about it.  So, while I was sitting on the dais (I sat on the dais!) I sent the letter down to them with a friend.  I never got it back.  I remember it pretty well, so I'll try to quote it here, and it will be pretty close to verbatim:

"Ronald Zweig is doing well medically.  His lung disease is not typical of hypersensitivity pneumonitis or psittacosis, diseases typical of exposure to birds.  He want to get a small, domestic bird.  It should be safe, assuming he takes the proper precautions and purchases it from a reputable dealer."
So, there you have it.  A note from my doctor.  That's all you needed if you were absent from school a few days, right?  It would even trump a note from your parents.  But my kids were unimpressed.  So was my sister.  Chayie said, "I don't care what DePalo says; he wasn't there with you.  He didn't go through hell with you.  He didn't cry for you."  That last one kind of got to me; Chayie doesn't really cry much, or if she does, she doesn't talk about it.  She got that from Babby.  Zeidie, on the other hand, was the emotional one.  Like me.  I happened to meet Blimie on the way back from a trip to the mens' room last night, and asked her if the letter was enough for her to give me her blessing.  I could tell that her position was softening, but she still had to save face.  "I still won't be able to talk to you," she began, "...for a while".  "How long?", I wanted to know, "Like a week?"  "No, more than a week".  I felt pretty good about that; she won't be able to last much longer than that, considering all the scintillating conversations we have.  So tonight I was in Radio Shack on Kings Highway and there's a Petland right next door.  I never, ever buy anything from Petland except fish or pet supplies.  The reason is I don't think their animals are healthy.  Even their fish die too quickly.  But a pair of guppies is not a major investment.  I didn't go in to the store with the intention to buy; I was just browsing.  They had some gorgeous lovebirds.  They had one absolutely magnificent Lutino lovebird, with bright yellow plumage and a striking face, dark peach bordering on vivid red.  The price was $120.00, which is pretty much what Parrots of the World gets for their common peachfaces.  Petland's peachfaces were around 80 bucks, so their prices are definitely better than Marc Morrone's the obnoxious owner of the aforementioned Parrots of the World.  The problem was that Petland's birds, as a rule, are not tame.  I went near all the cages, and each and every bird retreated to the back wall of his cage.  But the truth is, I'm glad they did.  I was tempted to break my "No birds from Petland" rule for that Lutino.  When he reacted to me like I was a leper, my enthusiasm was dampened significantly.  So I came home birdless.  But hopefully, I won't be for long!